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Category Archives: Joy

If and When

There’s not a way to kiss when you’re afraid it might be the last time. There’s no way to tie it allView full post »

Christmas Eve in March

There was a commercial during the Super Bowl (which is all I watch on Super Bowl Sunday. Well, that and This isView full post »

I slept with a stranger to save my marriage

“I’m looking past our faults from those scattered days. And fancying redemption.” I sat inView full post »

So about that Christmas card…

Merry Christmas friends! Here is our digital Christmas card of sorts, sharing with you a few moments in ourView full post »

The biggest mistake I made this Advent…

“In John 3:16, Jesus teaches us that the God who exists loves. Let that sink in. The God who absolutely is.View full post »

When you became my daughter…

Daughter, I felt so awkward. I had never before had a daughter, and I didn’t know how to do this newView full post »

How could I have known?

A year ago when I would see mothers posting first birthday photos and telling of teary eyes and time moving too fast,View full post »

For the love of a good story

Daughter, You were just a hope last October. You were curled up inside me, dancing unseen, and your hiccups were myView full post »

I haven’t yelled at my kids in three weeks and this is what I have learned…

Before I made this commitment to not raise my voice for one year, I was not living a life of congruence, and I stillView full post »

Why “I do” is a daily act

We were children and we were full of wonder. We were seeking more than just ourselves and we were hurting. It has beenView full post »

When you realize you’re not enough…

I held my newborn daughter, long awaited and hoped for after losing three precious babies and after growing threeView full post »

When you realize you can’t keep up …

I had high hopes. I cleaned off my laptop and organized my photo catalogs. I was going to blog this baby right,View full post »

What to do when time won’t slow down

When a babe is born, time alters. We count it in days and then weeks instead of months and years. There is eating andView full post »

When you’ve woken up together for many years

Daughter, I wait for the morning light to filter through the courtyard trees and into my room. At first just a glimmerView full post »

When you’ve lost too much to do the normal things…

When you have lost, and lost, and lost again – you can’t do normal things that others do without aView full post »

Silenced

There are many reasons for the silence. Many reasons not to open my mouth. Noise, noise, noise all day long, but I fallView full post »

Guest Posting – Navigating Grief as Life Moves Forward

The wound remains. Time has passed, is passing still, and I hold our long, awaited baby. The pain of the full-termView full post »

Finally Home

She feels so light in my arms. What if I cannot hold on to her? We buckle her into the carseat that is supposedView full post »

First Days

These first days after birth melt one into another, a beautiful fog. She was born at 12:38pm. Tonight I don’t haveView full post »

The Future…

The only place I marched today was to the grocery store and back home for my son’s thirteenth birthday party. But IView full post »

Worth it

For six years I have wondered if it’s cruel to put them through it all over again. When we began talkingView full post »

Joy – a birth story

This time my breath is calm and my hair brushed. I could have turned and walked back out, this is no middle ofView full post »

Joy Rising

Sometimes I wake up and feel the stillness, I wonder if I’m empty again. I wait, trying just to breath whenView full post »