Don’t Give Up Project . Day 1

I saw the big red sign while Jeremiah grew uncertain in my womb. I saw those white letters after losing my Joshua and they spoke deep into my soul.

Don’t. Give. Up.

I tried to obey and following them brought our Jeremiah Asher into my arms. But even after he arrived all miracle and joy, still I faltered and fell back into grief and doubt. Our hearts grow dull so easily. So I would find inspiration day by day in the movement, the project, in these artists and I longed to be a part of it someday… and that someday came sooner than I could have imagined! For our tenth wedding anniversary my wonderful, amazing, superhero husband surprised me with a trip to The Don’t Give Up Project dreamed up and hosted by the AMAZING Jeremy and Ash Parsons of We are the Parsons and We are the Bloggers . This post is Day 1 of 3. It begins as I leave my baby man for the first time in his life, get on an airplane with no children in tow for the first time in 9 years, meet a bunch of other photographers in the Colorado Springs airport and then ride up a windy mountain road to a lodge nestled amidst aspens and fir trees. I had no real idea what would happen, except that it would be amazing…

Ash meets us in the driveway next to the giant plastic painted elk and gives everyone a hug. My butterflies fade as we are welcomed into the lodge, given goody bags and shown our rooms. (mine had a view of Pike’s Peak and I slept on the top bunk which made my boys mighty jealous) We meet the amazing chefs Dave and Jessi in the kitchen and head out onto the porch with snacks to sit and chat. It’s funny looking back at these first meeting pics after our three days together because now it feels like we have all known eachother a lifetime.

After relaxing on the porch we head off for a walkabout in the fields that surround the lodge. Jessi and baby Hazel give us a good send off

I walk slowly in the thin air, lungs trying to adjust. Our group floats dreamlike around me til we find our way to a spot in a sea of grass surrounded by white robed aspens. Ash bubbles over in welcome and hope for our time together. We soak her words in, our hearts stirred to dream of what three days, good people, mountains and God may bring. And already we begin to make images together.

We wind our way back up to the lodge and it’s porch sprawled comfortable in the sun. I find myself awash in the altitude, climb up to my room and lay flat on a quilt covered bed. Staring up at the ceiling fan slowly whirring, I worry I won’t be able to be myself. Scared my body won’t adjust as well as everyone else, me coming up from the depths of sea level, I drift towards giving up on capturing the moments there. I don’t know if I will have the energy to shoot as I normally do but I lift my camera and snap the fan circling and as I do loveliness floats in my window. The light slants down and kisses my cheek. My eyes fall shut to dancing beams beneath my lashes and sweet songs drift over speakers and into my daydream. I lay peaceful and my strength returns before the dinner bell. I drift slow down the stairs to a table full of souls expectant. We fill ourselves with veggie burgers gourmet and potatoes fried to perfection.

We eat and we talk and we laugh and we begin to learn eachother round that big wooden table, sitting on long benches rough hewn. Then we climb the stairs and nestle in that little loft room amidst couches and the day’s last light. Here in this huddle Jeremy and Ash begin pouring out their souls and invite us in. They call us to Let Go, they remind us we can still be children who seek and create. They speak of making images that matter and they show one from each of us that holds the weight and beauty of our worlds. We sat unaware of the transformation beginning, and then we laugh and cry and spill our souls and awake to community.

We run downstairs for dessert and climb back up for bedtime. I wonder that I have bared my heart and my tears so soon to a group of strangers. I wonder at the joy welling up and know they are brothers, sisters found. Everywhere I turn I glimpse Magic and wonder at how thick it falls and if I could always live alive like this.

This is Day 1 of 3, stay tuned for Day 2 and 3. It just kept getting better . . .

Also check out my new friend’s posts about our experience at this workshop together. I will keep adding links as posts go up – Christine – Megan – Alison – Kelley

Also check out this amazing video of our Don’t Give Up adventure by Jeff and Erica Short of Anecdotally Yours

8-7-12 . 28mm . LR + VSCO1 . all kinds of light