Not Enough Love to Give

I don’t have enough love to give him and still he gives me more. my little bear

He was my baby allie, curled up on my tummy, squeaking little sounds. I slung him on me, nursed him at my breast, but I wish I had done more, worn him until my back broke, ‘nuggled every nap with him. But then came deployments, tragedies, broken hearts, exhausted bodies, everyday hassles and time slips by.

Time slips by and regrets pile up till they block the view of now. The beautiful view of NOW.

I hold him now, grown long and lean, his head heavy on my chest. David always generous with his heart, never tiring to be held close. Yet I fear to open my eyes to how much love he needs because I don’t know if I have given enough or ever can.

I can’t, never will be able to give any of them all they need – but He will. He gives Forgiveness and Love abundant. Forgiveness and I can see today in all it’s radiant glory. The mess is still there. We have fallen a thousand times today and more tomorrow. The dishes are still stacked high and a hundred more tasks it seems before bed, but the sun streams down and clothes us all in beauty. Glorious miracle just to breathe and be together, covered all over in the light of His love.

the light of His love, and it is enough. My little man and I raise up hands to our Lord, we hold each other and sing, sing of His love forever . . .

Not a moment is lost, only ugliness washed away, the beauty can not fade. He holds each second safe in His strong hands, and my eyes can open to now with no regrets for He has planned my path and redeemed my missteps. What mystery and miracle!