Grumblings

I grumble a lot. Complaints come out of my mouth way to much but the amount of griping that goes on in my head is ridiculous. Completely out of control, a disease eating away at gratitude. The worst part is I hardly even notice. I pick the moments of gratitude and I gloss over all the complaints that form a steady tide inside.

Photography is always a project for me and so a new one. “Grumblings.”  I don’t want to just take some nice pictures. I want the act of photographing to be transformative. So I will stop and take the pictures of the things I grumble about. I will be honest and know it will be shameful. Shameful in the quantity and also in the what, who, when, where, why… but I need to do this. Because when I stop and make myself see what is always before my eyes wide shut, then it’s obvious.

The beauty will be obvious. The complaints seen for what they are, ridiculous. I don’t think it will be a cure. I only hope that this project is an awakening, a call not to just guard my thoughts but begin to change them. And so I begin…

SICK

I hate it when my family is sick. Everyone is miserable and I am worried, the house is a mess and our schedule falls to pieces. My plans are paused.

So I take a photo. My sick boy asleep on the couch. I am stopped by beauty. Overcome. This big boy that never stops for a minute has layed here and cuddled me, I have taken care of him and later he makes me a thank you note. And look at those eyelashes, that head of hair. How many moms stroke bare scalps and pray that someday all they will have to nurse their son through is the flu.

So there it is, grumbling #1. I make known the ugliness inside so He can whisper the way to truth and gratitude.

This project will live here and at #grumblings on Instagram.