Well the red cups are here so I guess it’s time to move on . . .
In the mornings its easy to slip into winter, everything cold and wet, smudged gray. I squeeze a coffee, schoolwork, some Christmas shopping or baking in – and then . . . The California sun wakes me from my holiday daydream, blazing hot and bright, calling us outside to revel. Back home those last sunny fall moments would have to last us through months of gloom. Here they are just enough gray for snuggling, laced in a sunshiny reminder of our summer play.
So I ease my way into wishlists and cocoa, punkins and nativities. An easy flow linked day to day, building season on season. He says these moments hold eternity, are ours to keep. I plan gifts and don’t want to loose track of His. This summer’s perfection tucked deep into my heart. We peeled off layers and dipped our toes – back into life, back with each other. Camp fires and s’mores, sand castles and sunsets, wave upon wave of goodness bathed in golden light and grace.
I want to loose that nagging guilt of “I’ll get it right this year”. I just want to stack each moment, each festive day high. Traditions piled upon love, all wrapped up in His blessings. I want to marry the freedom of July with the holiness of December, the thankfulness of November with the awe of April. I want to live these magic moments everyday, somehow to root my family in them covered over with joy. The missed opportunities, the sinful steps will all fall away in the glory of His grace. Why waste a second? I just want to hold their hands and dance in His life. I want that so badly, and yet I stumble on . . .
He knows grief and He knows I have not done it well. He knows my joy now and He knows how quickly I loose it. He sees me a child throwing a fit, and He feels my heartbreak and weeps with me.
What a life, looking back to good friends, food and family, presently full of the same and looking ahead to more magic. Still I worry because I know how fragile it all is, this earthly life. Because I can’t touch the next I fear to live for it, and yet . . . it is everywhere, all around me, in every bit of this beauty.
4th of July you were exquisite, a week on the beach, front row seats to fireworks, a sunbathed dream. Christmas I welcome your coming as this year slides into the next. He wants to build us together, to grow us up. I balk and side step but oh I want to follow and gather it all into His treasure house!
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1