wish upon a star

This is a doll I made my neighbor’s daughter a year ago during the end of my pregnancy with Jeremiah. Now here goes with the philosophical ramblings…

I started making dolls shortly after I lost Joshua. I made them for little girl’s birthdays. I made them for little girls whose mommies were sick. I was kind of obsessed with making them. I kept making them as Jeremiah was formed inside of me. I made them as I waited, hoping to hold him and afterward with him snuggled on my chest nurturing his fragile little life. Looking back I see it was a way to create without the chaos or fear of failure. A sure fire way to make something I could hold, to see a child’s smile.

As my little Jeremiah grows and toddles now I have little time to snuggle and sew. Still I string scraps on banners and deck the halls. I drape curtains and buy fabric for Grandma to sew outfits with love stitched right into them. Is this why we sew? A generation of women pulling out dusty machines searching for patterns, sharing skills, printing fabric, reviving traditions.

Because stitching our love has always been a way to care for, protect and delight, to tell them we are their mothers, grandmothers, friends. To cover them in our love, like no machine made, money bought thing can. We give them our handsewn hearts to play with, wear and sleep under. We try to construct a future from a patchwork of well worn wishes, passed down. Health and happiness I hope for my children just as every link in the chain before me. Mother’s and parents with busy hands, we pray for our children’s bodies, hearts and souls.

We sew our hopes and wishes into the very fiber of their world. Wishes for the magic of childhood to last, for the bloom of adulthood to be strong and beautiful. In a world we can’t control we form fabric, bake, garden, paint because theses are things we CAN do. Working in needle and thread we craft our deepest desires.